自從阿仔換過副偈,
變左得得回歸我家之後,
二貓貓咬貓骨歷時七個幾月;
這個星期竟然有特破性進展:
more stories to come
DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
TOILET USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After you second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "chronic Offenders category." Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim-fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
(originally posted by alice30forever in plurk)
少無適俗韻，性本愛丘山。誤落塵網中，一去三十年。
野外罕人事，窮巷寡輪鞅。白日掩荊扉，虛室絕塵想。
種豆南山下，草盛豆苗稀。晨興理荒穢，帶月荷鋤歸。
道狹草木長，夕露霑我衣；衣霑不足惜，但使願無違。
